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Assuming you are playing Texas Hold'em. Its the best 5 card hand using ANY combination of your hole cards (Cards in your hand) and the community cards (cards on the table). You won the hand with a pair of Aces. Pair of Aces > Pair of Queens.
Everywhere I've played the hand isn't dead until the cards are actually in the muck. What you describe is how I often call. Most people don't show their hand if they're folding, me especially.
The rulings on this particular thing vary according to where you play. Some places let you show your cards in a hand to another player only if you are head up. Others do not and in particular this is generally not allowed in tournaments. The way you describe this incident most places would rule this hand dead. The problem is the player as you said "threw ...
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