I have 9,6.
He has 9,7.
The board is 4,4,10,9,3; suits don't matter for this hand.
Is this a split pot using two pair, 4s and 9s with the 10 on the board as the best kicker for both of us? Or does he win by using his 7 as his kicker, beating my 6?
Its a split pot 9944X. You make the best 5 card hand you can, using 0, 1 or both of your pocket cards, and correspondingly 5, 4 or 3 community cards. So does your opponent. In this example you both come up with numerically equivalent hands, so the pot is split.